Not the guy, Not the girl
by J-walker
Summary: Nagihiko/Nadeshiko has a list of things to do...confessing to Amu is just one of them. One-Shot.


**I'm generally an Amuto fan but I think if the writers had given this couple a chance I'd probably like this pairing WAY more : ) ~Dedicated to a close friend of mine~**

"Amu-Chan?" I looked to the bubble-gum pink haired girl sitting on her bed, unaware she had a boy in her room. I smiled to myself as I thought about how she would freak out in her cute way if I told her the truth. I wonder if she would ever trust me again...

"Nadeshiko? What's wrong? Do you not like this song? Ah! Gomen, you must like proper adult music. Classical?" She looked worried, If only she knew what type of music I REALLY liked...

"Amu-Chan, don't be silly of course I like this song!" I smiled to maker her at ease. I hated worrying her and I hated lying to her too...

"Ah...ok. Then what did you...?" I stared at my shoes, should I tell her?

"I'm struggling with something, Amu-chan." Her honey eyes went wide as she listened intently. "There's someone I like, someone I love...but I'm lying to them. I want to tell them the truth but I...they may hate me for it." Her eyes went sad, does she know already! But how could she? Unless that damn Kukai told her...I had to put killing him on my list of things to do.

"Nadeshko? Do you like..." I gulped in fear, scared of what she was going to say. Does she know already? Does she hate me? Will I ever get to talk to her again? "Do you like Tadase-kun? " I stared at her, I stared at her some more...Tadase! NANI!

"Eh? Ta-ta-Tadase-kun?" I relaxed, she didn't know anything. I was going to smile and tell her she must be joking when I realised she was staring everywhere but me...is she sad? "Amu-Chan? Why are you sad? " She gave me a hesitant smile and answered...with a lie.

"I'm not sad Nadeshiko! Why would you say something weird like that?" I forced her to look into my eyes, she blushed. A beautiful, pinky, red blush. I sighed, she was too cute.

"I don't like Tadase-Kun, he reminds me of a little brother really." Which was true. Why would I like a guy anyways? Oh right...because I'm a girl now.

"Then...Kukai-Sempai?" I started to laugh, here I was getting ready to kill him and she asks me if I liked him romantically. Poor Amu-Chan, she has no idea.

"No, not Kukai." Smiling weakly I told her to stay where she was while I returned. She nodded slowly still confused. This is it, this is when I'll tell her…whether she hates me or not is not the point. She needs to know, I can't do this to her anymore…

"A Nadesh-! Eh? Nagihiko? When did you come…?" Of all her good points quick-wit was not one of them…ah she's too gullible for her own good…too trusting. I walked slowly towards her and before she could possibly get another word through, mentally ticked off the first thing on my list of things to do. "Na- Na- Nagihiko! Wha- Wha- What was that!" My eyes couldn't leave her, my fingers reached to put her bangs back in order.

"I'll be leaving then Amu-Chan!" Aware she was still in shock I rushed to get changed.

Looking in the mirror I saw a disgusting person, a cross-dresser in love with his best friend…well it's not going to get any better now is it…despite my self-disgust I couldn't help touching my tingling lips, oh Amu-Chan…what have I done.

"Nagihiko, don't walk away from me." I froze as she walked into the bathroom behind me. She was still pink from the kiss, her honey coloured eyes scared and confused. "What…who are you?" I lent against the sink as she walked in closer.

"I was born with the name Nagihiko, I am a guy." She looked to the floor…out of disgust? Betrayal? She deserved to feel both those things and much, much more.

"Who is Nadeshiko? Is she really your twin or…your other self? Where is my best friend?" I didn't have an answer for her.

"Amu-Chan…I am Nadeshiko, and I always have been. I'm sorry." She looked up, little crystals ran down her cheek…_no, please don't cry!_ I walked up to her shaking figure and held her…she didn't pull away. "Amu-Chan, please don't cry. I'll hate myself for all eternity if I knew I'd made you cry." She pulled away and hurriedly brushed away her tears.

"Why didn't you tell me?" I stood up straight. I wouldn't be able to play a girl any longer. Puberty had finally hit me. I was already nearly a head taller than the beautiful pink haired angel in front of me.

"I'm telling you now." She looked up to see my eyes, sometimes I felt she could see the real me. Not the guy, not the girl but me.

"Okay." She bent her head onto my chest, enveloping my frame with her delicately beautiful arms. "Okay." I embraced her in return, resting my head on top of hers.

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